Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Book Club Bash Day 2 Lenore Skomal asks Can those in a coma hear us?


Welcome back to day 2 of the Book Club Bash sponsorned by Novel Publicity. Today Gladiator's Pen is hosting BLUFF author, Lenore Skomal. She's asking an interesting question to readers today. Don't forget to enter the contest below for a chance to win some great prizes and leave a lil comment love. Now welcome Lenore Skomal to the ludis.... 


Can those in a coma hear us? By Lenore Skomal

It’s the pivotal question that launched BLUFF. Not a revolutionary or new question, but one that persists and is debated in the medical community, for one, and the world at large.

In doing the research for BLUFF, I spoke to many physicians and caregivers, and my straw poll indicates the group was evenly divided. While most doctors acquiesce that they don’t rightly know, their druthers list toward the “no, not likely.”

While my mother wasn’t in a coma, technically, she was in a deep, morphine sleep toward the end of her life, thanks to a losing battle with bone cancer. She drifted in and out of long periods of consciousness, and it had me wondering, perhaps obsessively so, about what exactly she was aware of. Her primary care doctors were sensitive about not talking about her condition in front of her, even when she was snoring. I appreciate this more than they will ever know. There was a level of respect that I bow to.

After I wrote BLUFF, an in-law of mine was admitted to the hospital and kept in a medical coma for a month. When I asked him about it later, he wasn’t comfortable discussing it, other than to say, “I don’t remember a thing.”

Others who have come out of comas have had similar responses. But they are not the norm. Actually, there are those documented cases of coma patients who do remember, and can even recall the offhand words of a careless doctor or insensitive nurse telling loved ones that they’ll never come out of it. Those cases are what keep the right to life movement fueled, especially in desperate cases where there is no hope. Oddly, however, there are no numbers to prove the case either way.

By creating this dilemma for my protagonist, I wanted to push the envelope and explore not just the idea that a comatose patient could hear, but much more. I wanted to know what it might be like to be trapped in one’s body, with no visible means of communication. And not just be trapped, but forced to face the decisions you’ve made and live with those outcomes while not being able to defend or explain yourself. My protagonist, Jude Black, finds herself in that position. And as she lies there, immobile, some strange things happen. One of them is that she actually finds herself communicating and developing a friendship with someone she loathed in her waking life.

As with most of my writing, this unusual outcome underscores something much larger and pervasive—a human frailty—basically, our tendency to judge one another. When everything is stripped away—social setting, class-consciousness, petty differences, toxic gossip—sometimes that’s enough to truly see someone. And find a commonality that can create a relationship, a bond. I played with this theme in the book, and I think you will agree that the unlikely friendship that transpires between Jude and Mary Shannon is not just poignant; it’s heartfelt and true.

To be certain, the question about just what someone in a coma can experience won’t be answered definitively by BLUFF or by me, that is unless I find myself in a hospital bed one day in a persistent vegetative state. And if that happens my friends, you can rest assured—I will get back to you about it.

About BLUFF
 To the medical world, I was a host body, surviving only to bring a new life into the world. And while I wanted to die more than anything in the world, I never wanted this. No, I never wanted to cease to exist. This was the worst death of all.

Jude Black lives in that in-between, twilight place teetering on death but clinging to life in order to bring her baby into this world. Only she knows the circumstances surrounding her mysterious fall off the bluff that landed her in the hospital being kept alive by medical intervention. Only she knows who the father of her baby is. In this poignantly crafted literary novel, the mystery unfolds and the suspense builds as the consequences of Jude’s decisions 

About the Author 
Lenore Skomal is the author of the recently released novel Bluff. As an author, Lenore wants you to eat her books. She wants you to chew them in your teeth, savor them on your tongue, breathe them in, and feel her words in your skin. Her passionate desire is to touch your heart, inspire you, and luxuriate in the world of the written word. Winner of multiple awards for blogging, literature, biography and humor, Lenore Skomal’s catalogue spans many genres. With 30 years of writing experience, over 17 books published and a daily blog, the consistent themes in her work are the big issues the human experience and adding depth and voice to the intricacies involved in living a multi-dimensional existence. www.LenoreSkomal.com

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Book Club Bash begins with author Pavarti K Taylor Behind the Veil

Today begins the Book Club Bash sponsored by Novel Publicity. The next four days Gladiator's Pen will be host to authors celebrating new releases and giveaways. Be sure to check back every day for what's new and enter for awesome prizes.  Kicking off the event is author of Shadows on the Wall, Pavarti K Tyler. Pour a cuppa and enjoy the read. 

Behind the Veil: My Experience with Hijab by Pavarti K Tyler

Hijab is the headscarf some Muslim women wear.  There is great debate over the need, use and appropriateness of the hijab, which has fueled cultural debate and conflict. In Islam there is a cultural practice of covering a woman’s hair and neck, this is considered modest dress and the roots of the practice are based in the Qu’ran.  There are multiple surahs (verses) and hadiths (oral histories) which are used to explain the need for men and women to dress modestly.

The specifics of what needs to be covered is controversial.  Some say only the hair must be covered, others say everything but the eyes and hands should be.  From Burquas in Afghanistan to hijabs in France, it seems everyone has an opinion.

In 2001, right after 9/11, I participated in an event called “Sisters for Solidarity.”  The sponsoring group was an interfaith movement for social awareness.  Over 200,000 women in the US donned hijab for Eid Al-Fitr, a celebration that marks the end of the fasting month of Ramadan.

Somewhere in the depths of my basement there is a picture of me with a beautiful red-and-gold scarf covering my hair and neck. For three days in November, 2011, I went to work, the grocery store, church and everywhere else with my hair covered.

I could discuss the political reasons for doing this, or my own religion beliefs, but what I learned during those three days has nothing to do with either. I donned a headscarf for very personal reasons, which I believed deeply and still hold dear.  And every moment I wore it, I felt stronger in my convictions.  Something about a physical declaration of my beliefs was empowering and liberating.

I also felt a part of something.  Other women in hijab would stop, smile and speak with me no matter where we were.  It was a kind of sisterhood I haven’t experienced in other parts of my life.  Even when they found out I wasn’t Muslim, the kind response I received for what I was doing was deeply touching.

Simultaneously, I found the covering very oppressive.  It was hot under there, and kept slipping.  This was probably mostly due to my inexperience, but I found it physically cumbersome and something that needed constant monitoring.  I was also very surprised to find that a number of co-workers with whom I had been close to did not speak with me during the days I was wearing hijab. I received sideways glances on the bus and subway, not the usual smiles and commuter camaraderie I was accustomed to.

There are three female characters in my novel, Shadow on the Wall.  Each has an opinion of and relationship with wearing the hijab.  I pulled on my short experience to inform how I wrote these characters. Rebekah, Darya and Maryam - each of them represents a different archetype of Middle Eastern women.  While it's certainly not an exhaustive representation, the issues of gender and the veil are explored in depth through the course of the story. 

What I learned during the Sisters for Solidarity movement - and what I hope Shadow on the Wall conveys - is that covering is a deeply personal experience. Ideally each  woman would be able to decide for herself without the pressures of politics, family or cultural assumptions.  Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world, which is what makes the discussion so volatile. 

I’m curious as I move into publishing Shadow on the Wall how readers will feel about these women.  Which will they respond to?  With which will they identify?


Behind the Veil
Synopsis:
Recai Osman: Muslim, philosopher, billionaire and Superhero?

Controversial and daring, Shadow on the Wall details the transformation of Recai Osman from complicated man to Superhero. Forced to witness the cruelty of the Morality Police in his home city of Elih, Turkey, Recai is called upon by the power of the desert to be the vehicle of change. Does he have the strength to answer Allah’s call or will his dark past and self doubt stand in his way?

Pulling on his faith in Allah, the friendship of a Jewish father-figure and a deeply held belief that his people deserve better, Recai Osman must become The SandStorm.

In the tradition of books by Margaret Atwood and Salman Rushdie, Shadow on the Wall tackles issues of religion, gender, corruption and the basic human condition. Beautiful and challenging, this is not a book to miss.

 Purchase Links:

About the Author
Pavarti K Tyler is an artist, wife, mother and number cruncher. She graduated Smith College in 1999 with a degree in Theatre. After graduation, she moved to New York, where she worked as a Dramaturge, Assistant Director and Production Manager on productions both on and off Broadway.

Later, Pavarti went to work in the finance industry several international law firms. She now operates her own accounting firm in the Washington DC area, where she lives with her husband, two daughters and two terrible dogs. When not preparing taxes, she is busy working as the Director of Marketing at Novel Publicity or penning her next novel.

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Monday, December 3, 2012

Gladiators tug at Karen S. Moore's Heart Strings


Today in the ludis we're tugging the Heart Strings of Karen S. Moore. Refill your cuppa, sit back and enjoy our chat about the author and her latest release. 

Tell us 3 secret things about Karen Moore:
One of my ambitions is to own a donkey. 
People often get the impression that I am quite reserved but I love to sing, dance and laugh as much as I can!
I live in a house over 150 years old . . .

You began writing at a young age. What drew you to write then and now that you’re all grown up?
At 7 years old, I was given a Scooby-Doo notepad.  I was a huge Scooby fan and I remember thinking that I'd like to write him some new adventures.  Having written one story, I think I may have suggested to my parents that I send it to the program makers!  They quickly disillusioned me and tried to explain that there was already a team of writers in operation.  Ah, the confidence of youth!

And since I grew up . . . hmmm, I'm not sure I ever did truly grow up.  I think, that's an important part of writing and keeping your motivation.  You have to continue to be excited by life and allow yourself to play with words, characters and plotlines.

You’re celebrating the release of Heart Strings with us today. Tell us about it?
'Heart Strings' is a collection of ten short stories, united by their strong emotional content.  The book spans a mix of genres, including Mystery, Ghost Story and Fantasy but the overriding themes are Relationships and Romance. 

Throughout the pages, some colouful characters emerge, including: Athena, a reclusive lover of literature, Marina, a thoroughly Modern Witch and Bill, a cynical writer, forced to embrace the Festive Season.

Do you have a favorite story in the book? What makes it so?
I think the story I am most satisfied with is the opener: 'Athena'.  The whole story grew from this very strong, yet vulnerable female lead.  Athena has given up work due to illness and now amuses herself with cake-baking and other people's lives.  She watches everything from her window, between turning the pages of the latest crime novel.

The fact that her world is so small makes for an intense study of the relationships within her family and the new friendship she forges with her enigmatic neighbour.

Out of all your books, which one would you spend a day inside of? What would you do or whom would you spend time with?
'Heart Strings' is the only long length work of fiction I have published apart from Poetry Collections.  I don't think I'd want to spend time inside them, too many random words, swirling around!

At this moment, I think I would hang out with Bill from 'Rewriting Christmas'.  He's throwing a Christmas party, heading to Santa's Grotto and playing in the snow.  With the approach of the Festive Season, it would be great to rediscover my inner child! 

What do you feel are key elements when writing romance?
The relationship between your leading female and leading male is central. 
Dialogue is very important, the way your couple interact and look at each other, what they have in common, or disagree on.  There has to be a spark between them, as in a real life romance!

What inspired you to write the stories of Heart Strings?
I've been writing a lot of short stories since moving from Wales to Ireland so it must be something to do with the location!  I do think a significant change in your personal life can aid inspiration.  You find yourself in different surroundings, meeting new people.  I also live in a very quiet countryside location these days. I have to write to amuse myself!

How do you choose what stories go into a fiction collection? Were there some that didn’t make the cut?
I did wonder whether to include two of the stories in this collection: 'The Professor's Child' and 'Ghost Writer'.  I wrote these, back in Wales, when I was running a small publishing company and they were released as individual booklets as part of a 'Mini Lit' series. 

The tone in these stories is a little more serious than that of the others.  However, I feel in a collection like this you can get away with offering different genres and viewpoints.

Is there a character in the book you would like to be romanced by? Who and what would he do for you?
I think the character closest to my ideal man would be Luke from 'Roadtrip'.  He and Jenna are best friends who become lovers.  As my husband is my best friend, I think some of the conversations the two of them have echo our own closeness and banter. 

Do you have any up coming projects or events that you would like to share?
I've started work on a new book inspired by two of the stories in 'Heart Strings': 'Return to the Country' and 'The Move'.  The stories are set in a small Irish town and feature many compelling characters from the local community.  I feel these characters are crying out to be developed and given stories of their own, so it's looking like it could become a novella! 

I'm also going to be teaching a workshop called 'Story Wise' from February onwards, in a range of locations, across the Southeast of Ireland.  I'll put the details up on my website and Facebook Page, when confirmed.

Where can we find Karen Moore and your books? 
Download Heart Strings at: http://amzn.to/X3RO2a (Amazon UK)
                                        or: http://amzn.to/U4lLb6 (Amazon US)
 Visit me at:
My Website: http://ksmoore.com/

Thank you for joining us Karen you're welcome back to the ludis any time! Show Karen some comment love, have  you read Heart Strings or any of her other titles? 

Thursday, November 29, 2012

No Regrets A Friday Flash Fiction


Snow blew in flurries, the cloak whipped back from her shoulders. With a gasp, she clutched it back close around her body. This was no day for a woman to be out, much less a country to be at war.

The weather made her job harder as blood stained snow crunched under her feet. The wind howled drowning out some of the faint cries of the men who needed her aid. A chill ran up her body as an icy hand clutched at her ankle under her skirt.

She looked down and swallowed softly, the young face half torn and bloodied by his enemy. His coat was blue a Union soldier. She was told to pass them by, they only had time for their own today.

Sarah pulled her foot from his loose grasp and started to move on.

The Yankee attempted to rise as he reached that trembling hand out. “Please…”

The plea tore at her soul as her mind replayed the doctor and his arthritic finger shaking in her face at dawn this morning with warning their supplies were dwindling.  “To hell with that ole sawbones.”

Sarah turned back and knelt beside the young blue coat. “Easy, now. I’ll do what I can.”

He lay back in the snow, soft white mixed with blood, soot, and gunpowder. Carefully she tried to find his wound. By the way his face squinched and scrunched as he moved there was something far worse than the cuts and scrapes on the side of his face.

The poor boy was already blue enough to match his coat in the winter air. She tried not to open his coat too wide and loose what little warmth he had. His body shivered hard as she found the cause of his great discomfort.

She drew her fingers back from the wound and saw the blackened blood. Her heart sank lower. This ‘man’ couldn’t be more than sixteen, too young for wars against brothers. Far too young to die.

Sarah ad seen the cantankerous physician diagnose many soldiers with a wound like this one. The blood stained black meant the Federal’s internals had been damaged. All they could do was make comforts, take his last words.

Heaviness filled her for not the first time today. Sarah buttoned his coat back and gave the young man a gentle smile.

His eyes held the knowledge of his future. His hand trembled, flakes of ice fell from the digits as they wrapped around hers. “Write my mother, tell her I was brave.”

Sarah nodded once as the snow began to fall again. “What is your name, where does she live?”

He blinked snowflakes from his eyes as he took a ragged breath. “Thomas Lee Brunell. My parents live in Boston, George…..” He had to pause as his body heaved and coughed speckling his lips with dots of red.

Sarah smoothed back his hair and tried to calm him. “Shh, be still now. I’m sure your ma and pa are most proud of their brave son.”

Thomas gave her a smile, for a moment it softened those frightened hazel eyes. “I was, I fought well. I have one regret, I never kissed a girl.”

She smiled softly at the surprise in his pained expression. Many men have made confessions and requests as she tended them. None were so innocent as young Thomas. “Do you have a girl you’d like to kiss?”

Thomas gave her a slight nod, and tapped his watch. She opened and held it up for him to see the photo inside the lid. “She’s lovely, Thomas.”

“Her name is Sarah.” He paused to gather strength. “She’s waitin, for me.” It was plain in his expression he realized he wasn’t going to get that kiss with the pretty girl in the picture. His regret.

Her heart clenched for the young man. She brushed his cheek gently with her fingers. “My name is Sarah.” She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and felt him smile with the delight.

His grip tightened for a moment then the fingers uncurled from her hand. Sarah looked down at him, “Don’t leave me, Thomas.”

The hazel eyes were still, but there was a sweet grin on his face. Her breath caught as she placed his hands on across his chest. Sarah stood and gathered her meager bag of medical supplies. Sarah moved to the next call for help.

Now and then, she would glance over as the snow covered the young Federal, he had passed with no regrets. If she survived this war, Sarah swore to live without regret. The memory of a bittersweet kiss to remind her.


Monday, November 26, 2012

OneWord/60 Seconds: Local




Instead of staking out the local chop shop he could be out with Gina, or Lola. Oh yeah Lola. He popped the lid off his coffee and tossed it onto the dash with the rest of the nights' collection. Maybe this one wouldn't taste like used oil.

After seven hours of crap coffee and no action, he watched the sleek sedan pull up to the garage door. The detective took a tentative sip and sighed as a big man stepped out of the car and straightened his coat, the hood he’d been looking for. He regretfully tossed the first decent cup of java all night out the window and flipped on the flashing lights. At least his wasn't the only date night to get ruined. 

OneWord.com is a website for getting the muse warmed up. Each day you get one word and sixty seconds in which to write what it inspires.This is my entry for today's One Word. What's yours? For more of my past One Word entries check out my One Word Profile EliseV

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Don't Touch and the Next Big Thing


The Next Big Thing is a blog hop where authors talk about their next work in progress or soon to be released. I was invited into the loop by author Mary Ann Bernal, you can check out here next big thing the release of The Briton and the Dane: Concordia in Jan. 2013.

Alright, now for my next big thing...

What is the title of your book? 
For me the next big thing is the up coming re-release of the paranormal thriller Don't Touch to Kindle and Smashwords! 
About Don’t Touch
Dr Ryan Reign has unlocked a gift she calls a curse. Detective Jackson Prince and his partner need her help to stop a serial killer before he kills again. One problem Dr. Reign can't touch or be touched. Can the hard as nails cop Jackson find a way to touch her heart without touching her skin in order to stop the bloodshed.

Where did the idea come from for this story?
Don’t Touch was a NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) Novel. I was reading a book at the time on the paranormal and there was a chapter on psychic gifts. I was fascinated by psychometry, the ability to obtain knowledge about an object, or about a person connected with it, through contact with the object.

I thought how would that affect someone’s life to suddenly not be able to touch everyday objects without some kind of side effect. What if that person had no idea what was happening or how to control it? Then I thought wow what if they were the only person who could solve something like a murder…. And so a plot was born.

What genre does your book fall under?
Don’t Touch is a paranormal thriller with a dash of romance. I tend to write in multiple genres. Genres are like potato chips for me, can’t have just one :)

How long did it take to complete the first draft of this manuscript?
24 days. No kidding. NaNoWriMo works J

Who or what inspired this book?
I’m not sure there was any set inspiration. It was just a grouping of little ideas that rolled into a big one to form a plot and characters. I knew I wanted to write a murder mystery for NaNo, with some places I picked out around Lake County, Florida. Then the paranormal influences started to creep in and poof…... A coroner who can’t touch or be touched but has to find a way to turn her curse into a gift to find the killer before he strikes again.

What about this book would pique readers’ interest?
Don’t Touch isn’t your typical thriller.  Murder, a reclusive doctor, and a gritty cop with a quick temper make an enjoyable ride through the pages. The underlying theme is for the story is there is always light at the end of the tunnel. We can’t give up on life when it gets tough if we can hang on we might find that what we thought was a curse has brought us a bundle of gifts. Maybe one of them sexy as hell and bearing a pepperoni pizza. Right Jackson? :o)

If you can’t wait for the relaunch of the re edited version for Smashwords and Kindle no problem you can purchase Don’t Touch at one of the links below or click on the Books by Elise tab at the top of this blog. You’ll also find HALF and In the Dark!
Don't Touch on iTunes  (ebook for you iPad or ipone) 
Keep an eye out for the upcoming announcement of when Don't Touch will be available for your Kindle and more! 
Did you know you can collect my book covers and get them autographed? Check out my page on Authorgraph 

Have you read Don’t Touch or any of my other books or stories? Share your thoughts or a review below. I’d love to hear what you have to say!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Author Chat with Kerry Dwyer About her Ramblings in Ireland


We welcome author Kerry Dwyer to the ludis today! She's here talking about her book Ramblings in Ireland and her life in Europe. Relax and enjoy our visit. 



Tell us who Kerry Dwyer is:
Kerry was born in the North of England and educated in the South. She worked in finance for more than two decades in the UK, USA and various countries in mainland Europe. She now lives with her husband and daughter in the South West of France. She gave up finance and retrained as an English teacher (TEFL) after her daughter was born as she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. She currently teaches English as a foreign language to adults by telephone and internet. Ramblings in Ireland is her first novel.

What inspired Ramblings in Ireland ?
The book was inspired by our walking holiday in Ireland. I was so enthralled with the place and the people and the different sort of relationship I had with my husband whilst we were there. We hadn’t been in each other’s company quite so intensely for a long time. It started of as a diary or memoir of the holiday and by the time it was finished had metamorphosed into its current state.

Was it difficult to translate your travels into pages in a book?
Not really. As we were walking ideas for the book kept developing. When you are walking it is a wonderful time to reflect. There would be some incident or some conversation and that would set me thinking about a related, how ever tangentially, subject. The book had almost written itself by the time we got back to France.

Is there a place in Ireland a traveler shouldn’t miss? Why?
That is a difficult question. I haven’t visited all of Ireland yet but everywhere I have been is absolutely lovely. It also depends on the traveler, whether they are a town person or a country person. The season can make a huge difference as well. The Dingle peninsular is stunning and you get a chance to see the dolphins there, it can get very crowded in high tourist season though. The highlight for the holiday in my book was Sheep’s Head. I loved it but it is quite barren and bleak in places so not for everyone.

Tell us about your writing process. Do you write everyday or just when inspired? Is there a special place you write in or method you use?
I write something everyday. It is not always something towards a goal. I should be trying to finish my second novel but I am easily distracted. I find it very hard to focus on one thing at a time.  If I have a deadline approaching I am much better. For example a short story or flash fiction competition. I then focus and can finish the story. I wrote a lot of my second novel for NaNoWriMo last year. I just had to get the 50k words out during the month. I did the 50k words in one month, a year later and there are only 10k more. It is in a lot better shape though and has some structure.
I write on my laptop so that I can write wherever I am. I find train journey’s particularly good for writing because there is very little else you can do. There are fewer distractions like emails and facebook.

Tell us about …. The Slut’s Guide to Housework J
That guide was the starting point of my blog. It started out as some words of advice to a friend. She wanted to go out but felt that she had to do her housework first. I simply gave her a list of some of the shortcuts that I take when I am in a hurry. I really hate housework and particularly ironing. They seem such a waste of time. But I also hate a dirty house. How I reconcile these two is an ongoing struggle. My guide addresses part of it. I think everyone has to get the balance that is right for them. I am quite happy to spend a lot of my life in crumpled clothes to avoid ironing. For me the fun part of the Slut’s guide was investigating the word and its many meanings, how it has changed throughout history.

Do you have any projects you’re working on now or coming out soon? Please tell us about them.
I am still trying to write the novel I started for NaNoWriMo. The working title is ‘The Book Exchange’ and it is a fictional novel about expats living in France. I have a few things on back burners as well. I want to write a story about the viscous storms that raged through France at the end of 1999. The storms destroyed huge amounts of property and nature. I think the stories of people who were here and effected would be interesting.

What is your preference in the Nook/Kindle/ iPad discussion and why?
I have never seen a Nook so I really can’t comment on it. A lot of French people have a Kobo. I believe that more French books are available for the Kobo than for a Nook or a Kindle. The iPad for me tries to be too clever. For example if I want to look at something from another perspective I turn the iPad round but it turns the image round. Of course an iPad has a lot more functions than a simple e reader so it is not entirely the same thing.
For me the original simple Kindle works very well. It doesn’t try to anticipate what you want from it so it is very much like a book. It has the advantage of being lightweight and you can carry a whole library with you very simply.

I don’t have any of these devices. My mother has a kindle and an iPad so I have tried both of them. My husband also has a Kindle. I will soon be the only one in the family who reads from dead trees. My dad is putting up strong resistance too.

Was there something you learned about yourself in writing Ramblings in Ireland?
This might sound odd but until I had finished the book I hadn’t realized what it was about. I hadn’t realized the change in our relationship and the importance of investigating each others roots. That realization came with the finish almost as an after thought and yet it was the most important thing. I learned that writing can make you realize things about life that you hadn’t noticed in the living of it.

Can we have a little taste of your book?
There is a lovely French expression “il ne perd pas le nord.”  Literally this means “he doesn’t lose the north.” It means someone who knows exactly what they want and where they are going. They are focused on their target and don’t lose track of it. 
That doesn’t describe me at all.
I can’t read maps. They always seem to be printed the wrong way up. I can turn them the right way but then the names of places are sideways or upside down. I never know which way is north. Bertrand does, and he knows how to read a compass. Makes you wonder why he trusts me to navigate. Maybe he likes getting lost.

It annoys my daughter when we are talking about something and get stuck on a word. Bertrand gets out his French encyclopaedia and I get out the English one. Then we look it up and discuss its usage and history, which seems to her to take ages. She has to bring us back to the story, which was more interesting than the word. Sometimes she doesn't wait, but shrugs and leaves us with our encyclopaedias.

 I can get bogged down with grammar too. I can spend hours researching when to use “many” instead of “a lot of” in positive phrases or how many tenses you can use to make conditional sentences. Luckily my job allows me to correct other people's vocabulary and grammar, otherwise I would lose all my friends! As so many professionals do, I spend my working day telling people how to perform to a standard I rarely achieve for myself outside the office. It's almost like word blindness; I simply don't see my own mistakes.

Life feels quite a lot like that, really.


Where can we find Ramblings in Ireland and Kerry Dwyer?