Excellent Reader Review.... Sort of

Letter E in the A to Z Blog Challenge

Tonight was my big event of the year the Lake County Festival of Reading. But I’ll save those details for the next post in the A to Z challenge. J  An older gentleman was one of the guests tonight.

He told me he’d checked out two of my novels, Don’t Touch and Half. I’m always thrilled to notice one of my books missing from its resting place on the library shelf. Hearing from someone that did the deed is even nicer. Better yet, Mr. Tucker proceeded to tell me he really enjoyed reading Don’t Touch.

He told me he liked reading about the places in Lake County where the book is set and that it was just a good read.

Now on the other hand… he read Half and didn’t enjoy it. Said that it was a bit over him which is a sweet way of saying honey I didn’t like the vampires.

Yes, I’m admitting a reader didn’t like a book. Hey can’t make everyone happy I’ve had other raving reviews for Half. It just wasn’t enjoyable for him. I like that he told me he didn’t enjoy it and why.

 If we don’t get a few bad reviews how are we going to improve? You listen to the review or feedback objectively. Then decide if you felt the reason was preference or was there something off that might need a second look. 

Our readers’ views might not always match ours but we need to listen and learn from the bad as well as the good.

Mr. Tucker and I talked for quite a while before the program began and he’s a very sweet man who patrons our wonderful library system. Mr. Tucker said he prefers to read westerns. Well he’s in luck.

Rose Wade and I are working on a western novel. Hopefully I can get another review from Mr. Tucker when it’s published. Or maybe he’ll give me another chance with my other book out now, In the Dark.

Either way I cant’ wait to see what the next review will say.

   

Damn Good Advice

Mark Twain once said, “Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

How many times do we use words like very or adverbs unnecessarily? If we really took Twains advice to heart our writing would probably come out much cleaner and uncluttered.

I think we tend to get hung up on getting across our vision to the reader and over describe things. The old adage of “less is more” is exactly right. We don’t need to tell our reader every minor detail.

There are times we may need to expand description to explain something uncommon. But most often the reader is well aware of how a sunset for instance looks and behaves for example.

Using more than two descriptive words on a subject is overkill and apt to lose the readers attention. They skip lines or pages to find something interesting. You also want to leave just a bit of room for the reader’s imagination to paint the scene as they see it.

A word I used to be very guilty of over using was and. That wonderful three letter word that let you string objects and sentences together endlessly. Better yet the abuse of he, she, it, was, and as.  

I have to catch myself still over using ‘as’. As they ran down the hall, or he moved though the house as he… blah blah.

He, she and it are sometimes easier than using the name or another word to point to the character. Over used they become clutter and can be confusing as to which he, she or it is being referred to.

Mr. Twain was a brilliant man and knew that we should keep it simple. Not dumb it down, just keep the clutter out of our stories. The reader doesn’t get bogged down in unnecessary words or phrases letting the characters and the plot shine. 

If we can identify the words we over use then take Mr. Twain’s advice. Our rough draft will read a little funny. But when we edit and remove all the damns the writing will be just as it should be. That’s some damn good advice.

Part of the A to Z Challenge 2011

Want another good bit of writing advice check out The Other Ways of Writing :) 

   

Cranes and Canvas

photo Elise VanCise 

Cranes

The cranes walked though the grass elegant, heads held high. They watched me as I stood on the porch watching them in return. Their long necks bent beaks to the ground. They picked at the blades of grass looking for a morsel.

One scratches at the dirt making a soft calling sound. A youngling walks slowly over it its parent nibbling the offered bits. After their meal the family wanders around the yard looking for a sunny spot.

Once they find the perfect place they fluff and primp. One opens its wings full stretch. The magnificent creature rose to the tips of his toes as if to take flight.

After a moment passed he flapped his wings and closed them turning to nuzzle his mate. The family finished with their visit turned together and made their way back to the wood.

I would have to wait for another visit from my feathered friends. 

The photo above was taken in my front yard. Almost every day I get a visit from Mr. and Mrs. Crane and their 3 younglings. I love to watch them and take pictures they are so beautiful in the way they move.

Canvas is a Winner!

My entry to The Nature of Magic Blogfest won first prize by popular vote! Thank you to Tessa and Laura for hosting the fest. There were so many great entries to choose the finalists from.  Thank you to all who read and voted for your support.

If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet go here: Canvas

Don’t forget to go to  Rose’s blog and read the next part here Canvas: Mia Arrives.

Black and White Not So Plain and Simple

Cup of Plenty by Elise VanCise 

When you want to state that sometime is steadfastly one way or another you say it’s all there in “black and white.” Or the facts are “black and white.” Black and white is supposed to mean it’s clear to see no room for doubt or shades of gray.

Take a deeper look at a black and white photograph. The image isn’t made up of just two colors, but many varying shades of light and dark.

What has all that got to do with writing? Think about your favorite book or the story you’re working on right now. How black and white is it?

What makes a black and white photo interesting are those shades of gray between the light and dark. If the plot really was as simple as boy meets girl then it wouldn’t be very interesting to read.

Lily Pads in the Current by Elise VanCise

Fiction has to be more than just words put together. We need to add those varying shades of conflict, defat and triumphs to give the story depth and interest.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula would be kind of boring, not even frightening if he only wrote, “The vampire bit Lucy. Lucy turned into a vampire.”

Instead he gives us rich descriptions and lines like “Children of the night, what sweet music they make.” I remember reading this book for the first time and Jonathan Harker arriving at the Count’s castle. Dracula greeted him with “Welcome to my house! Enter freely and of your own free will.”

Something about that line gave me the willies. Enter freely and of your own free will, isn’t plain and simple. That phrase is filled with shadows and shades of gray, which the reader soon finds out.

St. John's River from the Astor Bridge by Elise VanCise

Life isn’t black and white like type on paper, it’s filled with shades of color. So why not add as much of that as we can into our stories. Enrichen the contrast between black and white point plots with shades of detail and meaning that will pull your reader into the world you’re creating. 

This post is part of the A to Z Challenge Join in the fun :) 

Animal as Secondary Characters

Today begins the April journey of the A to Z Blogfest. For the leader of the alphabet army, the letter A, I have chosen to write about animals as characters or part of our characters lives. 

Animals can add another layer to a story. I don’t mean the talking ones from Beverley Hills Chihuahua or cartoons like Mickey Mouse or Thundercats .  (Damn, I think I just dated myself there.)

I’m referring to a beloved companion or pet. The Lone Ranger had Silver the horse, Sonny Crockett had Elvis the alligator (Miami Vice), Roscoe P. Coltrane had Flash the dog (Dukes of Hazzard).

Even tough Beretta had a cockatoo. All of these critters didn’t tell their owners Timmy was stuck in the well, sing a song or even wear cute lil outfits. But they did enhance the stories they were in.

A pet can allow you to show another side of your characters personality. A softer side of a tough guy for example.  Having an animal they care for lets the reader see that there’s something under that hard shell.

The hero in the story Rose and I are working on has a cat. The orange tabby follows him wherever he goes, is his best friend. Sylvester, the cat, gives us the chance to let Ethan speak his thoughts instead of internalizing them. It allows him to share parts of himself or personality that otherwise might be more hidden from the reader. Ethan has been cut off from the world in very big way. Sylvester has become his connection to it.

Another great pet character example would be Steven King’s frightening tale Pet Sematary. *shivers ….  This is one creepy tail. You look at your cat or dog in a whole new way after reading this one.

The animals are part of the story as loving adored pets who come back as some kind of undead creatures. They become some very frightening characters that move the story. With out uttering a word, a mud covered, slightly decayed kitty can make a powerful statement in a scene.

Animals can distress a scene. If you need a moment of relief you can always have Fido do something cute or the kid’s hamster get loose.  They can be not so friendly also. Rex might turn on his owner in a horror story. Oh has a favorite of your human secondary characters he likes to use for a chew toy.

A bird such as a parrot or cockatoo that has the ability to talk might repeat a word or phrase they’ve heard earlier in a scene or story. The secret is out or a clue is reviled. Could even just be a comedic or embarrassing moment for the character. 

Pets can comfort in a time of need, come to the rescue, or just be a calming influence in a frustrating moment. Just as in real life.

While a talking dog is pretty cool, they don’t always fit into a story.  A cute fuzzy kitten or talkative parrot might be the perfect fit to add some spice of life to your character’s tale.

Don't forget to head over to Tessa's Blurb and vote for Canvas in The Nature of Magic Blogfest. You can read Canvas here then head over to my Sis in heart and writing partner Rose's blog for another part of the story. :) Thanks for reading and your support! 

 

Finalist! in The Nature of MagicBlogfest

 Wow I'm trilled to announce that my entry Canvas was one of 5 finalists for The Nature of Magic Blogfest! Thanks to the fest hosts Tessa Conte and Laura Diamond.

Now this is where you come in. Yes, YOU.  You get to vote for the winner of one of these great prizes :)

Voter's....

... 1st choice: Chapter critique from both of us + $ 10 Amazon Voucher

... 2nd choice: Chapter critique from one of us + $ 10 Amazon Voucher
... 3rd choice: Chapter critique from one of us

So hurry over and vote for Canvas now at Tessa's Blurb: Finalists for The Nature of Magic Blogfest 

Go here to read my entry Canvas. 

And don't forget to find some magic in your day! 

 

The Nature of Magic Blogfest

This is my entry for the Nature of Magic Blogfest hosted by Tessa Conte and Laura Diamond. A bit late but I made it!  Enjoy and try to find some magic in your day :)


Canvas

The brush gently moved over the worn canvas bringing back the vibrancy of the colors. The long hours of restoration extending the life of the vision before him. In a way she had been captured too. Ethan sat back and stretched, he’d been sitting for hours at the easel. The beautiful woman rendered before him was a familiar face.

One he had thought he’d forgotten. “How cruel can our memories be? To block something for so long then let it all rush back in a moment.”

Lightly his fingers traced over the long hair of the woman in the painting. She was so passionate, he could still feel the press of her lips on his as he closed his eyes. Those sweet kisses soon turned to curses.

He was to blame, of that there was no doubt. She thought he had eyes only for her and really he’d had eyes for Selena, her sister, and a few other ladies of the square.

For being so giving with others she had him cursed. Something he laughed at until the next sunrise.

A glance at the clock made him sigh. He covered the canvas to protect it during the day. He could feel the dawn coming, Ethan wondered if this is what vampires felt as the sun began to break the edge of the sky. 

He walked out onto the balcony and watched the sky begin to turn from darkness into brilliant light. The world waking. A familiar tingle began as the first rays touched land. Slowly he began to fade, the brighter the sun became the less of him there was to see.

When the last of night had been sent on its way Ethan had gone back to his canvas. His physical body was taken not to be returned until sunset. During the day he hung above the mantel. A modern looking man in a Renaissance decorated room. The brass plate on the frame says Ethan Osborne 1437.

To live forever, days trapped in a canvas world. Night brings freedom to walk the earth. That is his curse or is it just a bit of magic.  

Rose Wade and I have been writing together for a few years now. She's my Sister-in-heart :) This is part of a novel we are working on now. If you would like to read another part, and meet Mia, Ethan's new assistant,  head on over to her blog Other Ways of Writing.