There it was resting on the table next to the morning paper. It was real, not a toy, the real deal. She picked it up in an awkward grip. It was heavier than she thought it would be.
Her fingers shifted over the grip pressing a button. The clip hit the table with a clunk startling her.
The gun fell from her hands making a louder sound as she pushed her chair back. She stood to quickly back away. Her back hit the kitchen counter making her jump again.
Hands covered her face she took a long breath. She couldn’t do this, she wasn’t like him. Her throat had gone dry and aching. She tried not to look at the object on the table as she moved to the sink a bit shaky as she filled a glass.
As she drank the cool water her eyes fell on her refection in the shiny steel of the toaster. The image was slightly distorted with the curves of the appliance, but, the black eye and swollen split lip were plain enough to see.
It wasn’t a choice anymore. She had to. Moving back to the table she sat down in the chair and looked at the thing lying there.
With a sigh she picked up the small box next to it and read the print. “.44 magnum ammunition, features 240grn lead core copper semi-jacketed hollow point bullet. Brass case and non-corrosive boxer primer. Well that’s good. Wouldn’t want it to rust after embedding in his brain after all.”
Bruised fingers opened the box and slid out the tray of shiny projectiles. They didn’t seem so dangerous stacked neatly in rows.
Cautiously she plucked a bullet from its nest. Gently she tried to press it into the clip as the man at the gun shop had showed her. The bullet popped out from between her fingers, bounced across the table top, over the edge to hit the floor.
She gasped waiting for a minor explosion. After a moment nothing happened so she walked around the table and picked up the brass cased explosive. A nervous laugh fell from her lips. Dropping it wasn’t going to make it explode. It had to be fired. Only the pin striking the exact spot at the precise moment would make it go off.
With a calming breath she sat back down and began to press the bullets into the clip. Each one sliding home gave her a bit more confidence. She was in control, maybe for the first time in a long time.
The clip was now full. She picked up the gun by the grip making sure the safety switch was on like she had read in the book. The clip went easily back inside with a click.
Her hand closed over the top and pulled back putting a round in the chamber and readying the weapon to fire.
She set the weapon back down on the table and looked down at it. Her mother had always told her these were things of destruction and death. Now she sees it as something completely different. Looking at the cold steel she all she can see is freedom.
Part of the A to Z blog Challenge for the letter G.